i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
