thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's just like the Real World with babies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
