Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
