I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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