the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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