she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
