That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
