I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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