I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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