Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
