So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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