I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
