He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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