If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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