Screwed.edu
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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