I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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