why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
MIDGETS
????
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
