I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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