I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
