I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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