Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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