Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
