she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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