Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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