It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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