Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
drinking out of a sandbucket again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
