I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
