I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
