I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
