butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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