Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
