Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
