You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
