Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
