Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
