Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Your penis caused this!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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