well you can't waste a boner
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
