How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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