She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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