brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
