Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
