why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
