I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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