i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
