She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
