I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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