Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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