But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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