too bad you live with your parents still
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
