we have officially lost it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
